Some of Y’all Are Out Here Wearing Emotional Spanx. | FIT with Erin Coupe

Some of y’all are out here trying to squeeze your actual humanity into lives that technically function… but feel like wearing emotional Spanx for 14 hours straight.

Nothing is visibly “wrong.”
You’re competent.
Reliable.
The one everyone counts on.

Meanwhile your nervous system is in the parking lot smoking a cigarette in orthopedic shoes.

This week’s Word of the Week is FIT, and Erin Coupe joins Kirsten for a conversation that starts with productivity and quietly turns into a full-body rebellion against obligation, over-functioning, and becoming the emotional Sherpa for every room you walk into.

They unpack what happens when women spend years trying to earn gold stars from jobs, relationships, expectations, and invisible rules that never actually asked whether we were okay. From Wall Street panic symptoms to chronic illness to nervous systems stuck in fake survival mode, this episode keeps circling one uncomfortable question:

What if the problem isn’t that you’re failing at your life?
What if your life doesn’t fit anymore?

There’s also a wildly important conversation about the difference between solving problems and absorbing them. Because somewhere along the line, a lot of high-achieving women became emotional paper towels with calendars.

And honestly?
The body usually knows long before the brain catches up.

Feral Little Sentences

“Mindset is useless if our nervous systems are completely fried.”

“Your body should be your partner in crime, not your adversary.”

“I told her your job is to solve the problem, not to absorb it.”

“We want to control how others perceive us. That is a dangerous one.”

“You’re giving your time, but you’re not energized by it at all.”

In This Episode

• Why some women become the emotional load-bearing wall for literally everyone around them

• The sneaky difference between helping and absorbing

• What chronic stress can look like when your body finally files a formal complaint

• Why “trying to leave work on time” hit Kirsten’s nervous system like expired mayonnaise

• The hidden exhaustion of constantly shaping yourself around other people’s expectations

• How obligation changes the energy in every relationship

• The moment Erin realized success was costing her connection with herself

• Why nervous system alignment sometimes looks less like discipline and more like finally exhaling

•••

If this episode hit a little too close to home in the “why am I carrying everybody else’s emotional IKEA furniture?” kind of way… subscribe, share it with a friend, and come hang out with us again next week.

The Feral Era for Women Over 40 is for women who are tired of confusing over-functioning with living.