The Audacity of Tattoos
For the last five years, I’ve gotten a tattoo for my birthday.
Not a midlife crisis tattoo.
Not a “bad decisions were made” tattoo.
A deliberate one.
And for a long time, I didn’t fully articulate why it mattered. Only that it did.
Then I fell down a neuroscience rabbit hole and went,
“Oh shit. That explains everything.”
Because tattoos are not just art.
They are not just aesthetic.
They are not just rebellion, memory, or meaning.
They are a direct conversation with the nervous system.
And once you see it, you can’t unsee it.
Especially if you’re a woman over 40.
Because most women over 40 are not “unmotivated.”
They are overstimulated, over-functioning, and neurologically exhausted.
You’ve spent decades:
• Managing other people’s emotions
• Anticipating needs
• Staying composed
• Performing competence
• Staying palatable
• Pushing through discomfort quietly
Your nervous system learned one core rule:
Endure. Adapt. Don’t make it weird.
So when motivation stops working…
When affirmations bounce off…
When productivity hacks feel insulting…
It’s not a mindset problem.
It’s a regulation problem.
And tattoos?
They do something very specific to regulation.
Tattooing Is Controlled Stress. With Choice
Here’s the key difference between trauma and healing:
Choice.
Tattooing introduces:
• Pain
• Sensation
• Intensity
But inside:
• A safe environment
• With consent
• With control
• With clear start/stop boundaries
You choose:
• When it begins
• When it pauses
• When it ends
• What the pain means
That matters more than most people realize.
For a nervous system that has spent years absorbing stress without consent, this is radically different input.
It’s stress that says:
“I am here.
I am choosing this.
I am safe while I feel it.”
That alone can be regulating.
What’s Actually Happening in the Body
Early in a tattoo session, the nervous system goes:
“HELLO. WE ARE BEING ATTACKED.”
Heart rate up.
Adrenaline up.
Alertness high.
That’s fight-or-flight.
But then something interesting happens.
If the environment is calm…
If breathing slows…
If the artist is regulated…
If the rhythm becomes predictable…
The nervous system often shifts.
Breath deepens.
Pain perception changes.
The body settles.
People say things like:
“The first 10 minutes sucked, then I dropped in.”
“I felt weirdly calm.”
“I almost dozed off.”
That’s not toughness.
That’s parasympathetic activation.
Rest-and-digest.
Grounded presence.
Your nervous system learns:
“I can feel intensity and stay safe.”
That lesson carries.
Endorphins, Dopamine, and Meaning
Tattooing releases:
• Endorphins (natural pain relief)
• Dopamine (reward, meaning, completion)
• Sometimes oxytocin (bonding, trust)
That chemical mix can create:
• Emotional release
• Focused calm
• A sense of catharsis
Which is why some people describe tattooing as:
• Therapeutic
• Addictive
• Clarifying
• Grounding
It’s not because pain is good.
It’s because the nervous system loves coherence:
Sensation + choice + meaning + completion.
That’s regulation.
Why Tattoos Stick: Psychologically and Neurologically
Tattoos become encoded.
The brain links:
• Physical sensation
• Emotional state
• Visual symbol
Strong sensory experiences create durable neural pathways.
That’s why tattoos often feel alive long after healing.
They’re not just ink.
They’re stored experiences.
Which is why a tattoo can feel like:
“I survived this.”
“This is mine.”
“This marks who I became.”
That’s not poetic fluff.
That’s how memory works.
Midlife Is a Body-Led Chapter
Midlife isn’t just psychological.
It’s neurological and hormonal.
Your tolerance for bullshit drops.
Your capacity for self-betrayal shrinks.
Your nervous system becomes less willing to override signals.
So the body starts speaking louder.
Tattooing is one way some women reconnect to sensation on purpose, instead of dissociating through life.
It’s not about pain.
It’s about presence.
It says:
“I can feel myself again.”
“I choose this.”
“I am in my body, not just managing my life.”
What This Has to Do with the Work I Do
I don’t coach mindset.
I work with the nervous system.
Because lasting change doesn’t come from trying harder.
It comes from repatterning safety, agency, and self-trust.
Tattoos do that in one context.
Coaching does it in another.
Both say:
• You get to choose
• You get to pause
• You get to listen to your body
• You get to integrate who you’re becoming
That’s why this science matters.
Not because everyone should get a tattoo.
But because it reveals something essential:
Healing is not about avoiding sensation.
It’s about learning you can stay present with it.
See It. Claim It.
Tattooing is not decoration.
It’s dialogue.
With the nervous system.
And for many women over 40, it’s one of the first times in a long time their body gets to speak. And be honored.
Want to launch your comeback tour together? Start here.
