PULSE CHECK: Are you the HERO, the VILLAIN, or BOTH?

“We are all the gods and all the demons in all the stories, if we don't let ourselves off the hook.” - Douglas Brooks

When I read that quote, I thought about the women I work with. Smart. Compassionate. Ridiculously accomplished. And so, so tired. Not just physically tired, although yes, that too, but soul-tired. 

Here’s the thing I’ve noticed, especially among women in medicine:

They don’t see their exhaustion as evidence that the system is broken. They see it as proof they are.

Because somewhere along the way, they were taught that if they’re not constantly saving the day, they must be the problem.

They were trained to be the hero. And trained just as hard to fear being seen as anything else.

But what if you’re not the hero?

What if you’re the goddess and the gremlin? The burned-out oracle and the boundary-enforcing dragon? What if the most powerful thing you can do right now… is give yourself some grace. The women I work with aren’t falling apart because they’re weak. They’re unraveling because they were never allowed to be whole in the first place.

The story they were handed said: Be everything for everyone and disappear gracefully while doing it.

No wonder it doesn’t fit anymore. 

So what do we do?

We stop performing. We start listening. We get curious about the other roles we’re allowed to play.

Maybe it’s time to be the wise guide instead of the relentless warrior. Maybe it’s time to rewrite the whole daggum story.

If that sounds terrifying, but also kind of… good? You’re not alone. Or failing. You’re just overdue for a new script.

Because you are not the villain in your story. But you don’t have to be the hero, either.