Lighthouse Don't Row
I have a lighthouse tattoo.
I got it when I was still married and told him, “I’ll be your lighthouse. I’ll shine, I’ll guide, I’ll share my light generously. But I’m done being your lifeboat.”
Because lifeboats sink when they keep taking on water. And lighthouses? They stand tall. They beam. They’re unshakable.
The high-achieving women I coach? Most of them have been trained their whole lives to be lifeboats.
They scoop, they patch, they row until their arms go numb. They rescue everyone else — partners, kids, colleagues, patients, clients. And they get praised for it: “You’re such a team player. You always go above and beyond.”
But being everyone’s lifeboat comes at a cost: You’re waterlogged. You’re exhausted. You can’t remember the last time you felt steady.
- Your worth isn’t measured by how many people you can drag to shore.
- Your brilliance isn’t in rowing harder.
- And your nervous system isn’t built to live in constant rescue mode.
Lighthouses don’t row. They shine. They guide. They hold their ground in the storm. And that is enough.
Here’s what happens when you stop lifeboating:
- Cortisol levels drop. Your body finally gets to reset.
- Your prefrontal cortex comes back online. That’s the part of your brain responsible for decision-making, creativity, and calm focus.
- Neuroplasticity kicks in. Instead of wiring yourself to expect chaos, you start wiring for safety, joy, and possibility.
Here’s the thing about lighthouses: they don’t row. They don’t chase boats. They don’t scoop people up. They shine. They stand tall. They hold their ground. And that’s a lesson most high-achievers never got taught.
Because you weren’t built to suffer in other people’s storms. You were built to shine through them.
Ready to stop rowing yourself ragged? Let's talk.
- Kirsten "Chief Lighthouse Officer" Bombdiggity
