Better for Your Patients, Worse for Your Health? A Mental Health Month Reflection for Women in Medicine

After the response to my last article (Beyond Burnout), I knew I couldn’t just leave it there.

The comments on LinkedIn and Facebook. The private messages. The quiet thank-you messages from doctors who feel seen—but still stuck.

So I’ve decided to stay here for a while. To keep naming what’s real. To spend this Mental Health Awareness Month focused squarely on the women in medicine who are doing everything right… and still finding it’s costing them too much.

This is the second piece in a short series I’ll be writing throughout May. And it’s inspired by one of the most on-point, gut-punchingly real articles I’ve read this year:

👉 “Having a female doctor is better for your health, but not for hers.” by Dr. Noemi Adame

Dr. Adame’s voice is bold, brilliant, and blisteringly honest. She names what so many female-identifying physicians live every day:

The better you are at your job, the worse it might be for your health.

📉 The Data Doesn’t Lie—But It Doesn’t Care Either

Women doctors deliver better outcomes. Patients live longer. Complications go down. Satisfaction goes up.

And yet…

• Burnout is higher.
• Patient and staff demands are heavier.
• EMR inboxes are fuller.
• And female physicians—especially women of color—are dying just as fast as their male colleagues.

🧠 During Mental Health Awareness Month, We Must Say This Clearly:

Being a great doctor should not require self-erasure.

And leaving the corporate system doesn’t guarantee safety either. As Dr. Adame shares, boundary-setting in a DPC model can be even harder when you’re used to putting everyone else first. (Shoutout to all my recovering people-pleasers—I see you.)

When the culture teaches you to be endlessly available and deeply compassionate, how do you even start to center your own needs without feeling like you’re failing someone?

That’s not a rhetorical question. It’s the one I hear constantly from the women I coach.

💬 If This Resonates, Let’s Talk

I offer something called a Dream Out Loud Call—a free 30-minute conversation where we can talk about what’s next.

Not from a place of burnout. Not from a place of crisis. From a place of possibility.

Because maybe you don’t want to leave medicine— you just want to stop leaving yourself behind in it.

💚 And to Dr. Noemi Adame: Thank You.

For telling the truth. For staying with the complexity. For reminding us that patient outcomes don’t mean much if the people delivering them are quietly falling apart.

Let’s keep this conversation going. Because women doctors deserve more than applause. They deserve support. They deserve systems that honor how they show up. They deserve to stay alive and lit up in the process.

This isn’t the last article in the series. Because this isn’t the last time I’ll say it:

💥 You’re not too sensitive. 💥 You’re not too tired. 💥 You’re not too much.

You’re just done abandoning yourself to feel useful.

Let’s talk about what comes next.