47% of People Eat Bananas Wrong

Researchers surveyed Americans about banana preferences because apparently someone secured grant funding and thought,

"You know what science has been missing?"

"Banana opinions."

Turns out 47% of Americans prefer bananas with some green.”

Which means nearly half the country would happily eat a banana I'd leave on the counter for another two days.

Meanwhile, I'm over here trusting y'all with...

Brake pads.
Restaurant kitchens.
Anesthesia.
Jury duty.
Democracy.

But here's the unfathomable reality.

I see their bananas and think,

"Call me when you've reached your full potential."

But nearly half the country sees mine and thinks,

"Absolutely not. You creepy zombie banana weirdo."

Neither of us is describing reality.

We're describing a preference.

And somewhere along the way...

our brains quietly stopped knowing the difference.

We take...

"I prefer..."

and upgrade it to...

"Obviously."

That's not just a banana problem.

It's a human problem.

And productivity gurus are some of the worst offenders. 

Someone had the audacity to write a book called The 5 AM Club.

Friend.

The only time I'm awake at 5:00 a.m. is because I haven't gone to bed yet or someone who hates me booked my flight.

Now before the sunrise people clutch their French presses...

I'm not saying waking up at 5:00 a.m. is wrong.

I'm saying it's a preference.

One that genuinely works for a lot of people.

Nifty.

May the sunrise smile upon their suspiciously functional circadian rhythm.

But somewhere along the way...

"This works really well for me."

became...

"This is what successful people do."

One is a preference. The other is recruiting.

We do this with everything.

Exercise.
Diets.
Productivity.
Leadership.
Parenting.
Relationships.
Minimalism.
Maximalism.
Working from home.
Working in an office.
Introversion.
Extroversion.
Coffee.
Tea.
Android.
iPhone.

And apparently bananas.

We accidentally turn preferences into principles.

And women are especially vulnerable to it.

Because many of us were raised believing there is a correct answer hiding somewhere.

The correct way to...

Be productive.
Be a mother.
Age.
Lead.
Rest.
Say no without hurting anyone's feelings.
Organize a pantry.
Fold a fitted sheet.

(The fitted sheet people are lying.)

I watch women spend years trying to become the kind of person who likes somebody else's bananas.

They wake up at 5:00 a.m. because disciplined people do.
They host every holiday because good daughters do.
They answer emails at 10:00 p.m. because committed employees do.
They network because successful people do.
They keep volunteering because kind people do.

Sometimes they never stop to ask the only question that actually matters.

Do I actually like living this way?

Not...

Does this work?
Is this admirable?
Would someone else recommend it?

Because if the banana-data proves anything, 

There has never been a universal "perfect" ripeness. 

There are just millions of people quietly mistaking their preferences for objective truth.

Maybe we've been doing the same thing with our lives.

Not every "should" belongs to you.

Sometimes someone is just enthusiastically recommending their favorite banana.

And if nearly half the country thinks I'm eating bananas wrong...

I'm certainly not expecting unanimous approval for the way I... 

Dress.
Cuss.
Coach.
Write.
Eat.
Move my body.
Live.

I'm ferociously okay with all of that.